Why did expectations hurt? Can’t we get rid of it?

How many times did it happen with you that you were expecting something from someone and since it was not fulfilled you felt sad and unhappy? It generally happens, Right? and it is a natural process because we are born with expectations with others. We always want others to fulfill our desires and demands. When we expect something from others we lose control on ourself. Because now the control is shifted to another party. Think of the remote of the television you watch. If you press the power off button television will go down and this is what expected also (obviously that’s why remote invented).

But hold for a moment and think about it. Why did it happen? Yes, it happened because the remote has control over the TV. 

In our life, the same thing happens when we keep expectations from others. Why? Because then another person gets control to fulfill or not fulfill the expectations. If we don’t get what we want we will feel bad and incomplete and here the problem arises. Let me give you an example. Suppose if it is your birthday and you don’t receive a single birthday wish from your loving one. How would you feel? Bad. Sad. Broken. Why did it happen? Because you want people to remember your birthday and wish you. But I invite you to think about why they should do it? If they do its wonderful but if they don’t do why you are feeling unhappy and sad? Because we want others to make us happy but I ask why you can’t be happy with yourself?

In this world, it is very easy to be sad but very hard to smile and feel happy. Happiness doesn’t mean to smile all day long. But be happy with your inner side. You should not have any complaints from your inside. Then it is called real happiness. 

This is Valentine’s week so you must be expecting gifts and chocolates from your loved ones, Aren’t you? Suppose if they neither gift you anything nor they buy any chocolate for you will you leave them just because of your expectations? Obviosuly not because gifts and chocolates is not the love. It is just different ways to showcase the love.

Lets talk more on this and start from the definition of the expectations. So what is expectations? Expectation is a belief that something will happen for sure. But when it doesn’t happen we feel bad. Because we want it to happen. Now the question is why we want it to happen. Because our upbringing is in that way. Our desires and wishes always fulfilled that’s why we started believing that we will get whatever we want. But this world is not that much kind. When the reality hits us we find our self broken. For example wishes on your birthday is not a ritual but you started expecting because everybody wished in your childhood you started believing that now everyone has to wish you.

Okay so now you must be asking a question that is there a way to get rid of the expectations? Answer is a clear No. As a human expectations will be there. In every relationships expectations born but there is a way to get rid of the unhappiness and sadness due to this expectations. Don’t be dependented on the fulfillment of the expectations from others.

Remember the example I gave at the starting of this post? The remote control. Remote has the power to turn off the TV because it has control. When you give control to other people then you might feel unhappy and sad. But if you are independent of others nobody can make you feel sad. Your happiness is yours nobody can touch it given you don’t let people control you.

Let me know what challenges you face while implementing this I will help you out. Post your responses in the comment box below.

Happy Valentine’s day. Be Free from the expectations you have from other people.